Simplicity of Jesus

It has been a long time since I last blogged. Gomenasai.. for those out there visiting my blog and see no updates. Havent been having the time and energy to blog recently. I guess due to my current job now, I am quite stretched with tasks on hand.

Just today, a sister happened to ask me do i have any targets lately? Haha i realise i dont have any. Haha perhaps didnt even have the time to spot any guys. And my fellow brothers in Christ were always saying that my church network database system has been outdated. Indeed i realise lately, I didnt really socialise. Perhaps I have also toned down alot. I have stopped knowing new friends.

Reason being? I also dont know. Guess I am in the midst of transitioning perhaps. Didnt really process alot, so have this bunch of raw feelings but havent do anything about it.

Thank God He sustained me this far. This year is not as bad as last year. Haha thank God. Just that still adjusting to my job, its been 3 months working there liao.

Thank God that i am doing something i enjoyed. Just pray that i will stay focus on what He want me to do and not fall short of His glory. Indeed I realise i am becoming more and more simple. I also dont know why. Perhaps all i know that is i do not stray away from God. As long as I am always in Him can liao. Ya, G12? having my 12? whether my job is good? or whatever? Ai yoh.. seriously doesnt matter mann. Cos i just pray that when I go up to heaven, whatever God entrust to me, I can present perfect to Him can liao.

I dont have ample strength to think so much. All i know is that i am in whatever God has intended me to be, not that i am slacking or what. Haizz.. He will know what i can take and what i cant. So perhaps, thats why life is so much simple for me this year.

Right now I am very tired, all i pray is that I can rest in Him mann. Earthly things made me so dry. Sometimes I wonder why do we need to do so much? Sometimes as i reflect back alot of things are merely chasing after the wind. Strive so hard for what? Cant bring anything when time is up. Therefore, all i pray is that I will just lead a life holy and pleasing unto God.

9 years liao, being a christian. I pray i will grow more intimacy with God. Whether am I running the vision or finding my 12, or what so ever? After all , is that all so important? Not really. What is important is I understand His grace for me and do not take His grace for granted. Not that all the above is not good, but rather life is all about pleasing God. Life is all about understanding more and more about Him. Life is all about having a simple heart to follow God.

I just yearn a life just understanding more and more about the simplicity of life. Human beings tend to make things complicated. We always tend to bind ourselves with system after system, rules and regulations and restrictions. I am living in this world of so many complications. All i know is that i seek a place without all these, i yearn for a place where I can just love God and He love me. Without the complications of worldly matters.

I wish to throw away all that complications, like it or not, i cant. Because this is such a broken down world. Like it or not, God havent come back yet. So i will have to continue to perservere and press on living in this world. When will the garden of eden be back? Or when will He recreate the garden of eden again?

Nobody knows. But all I pray is that I will have a heritage in that garden. I will not strive to create my own kingdom and miss out the total blessing He has for me.

But what is comforting here on this earth? Jesus says I will never leave you nor forsake you. Jesus provide His strength for me. So in such a broken world I live in, I can look for comfort, refuge, strength in Him. Because He say so, He will not allow anything what I cannot bear. Thank God I trust in Him. Thankful that I understand this. Thankful that He is here. If not, how to live in a world like that?

Totally impossible to live at all. Thank God He died for me. And because of that in such a sickening world we live in, I will still feel His peace. His peace that overcome all the fears, confusion that i am feeling.

Seriously, i think God is bringing me another phase of brokeness. To live is Christ and to die is gain. Thats what He is teaching me. And I am still learning.

So so hungry and thirsty for His presence. Lord help me to overcome this world. Not easy but I hold on to your truth that will set me free.

Out of a sudden, even when i am penning down these thoughts, a familiar verse ring in my head,

Psalms 139: 23-24

Search me, O God and know my heart. Test me and know my anxious thoughts
See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Ya that is my prayer, haha except for the test me part. Haha...